FLASHBACKS
LAURIEANN CHUTIS, ACSW C. 1987

WHAT ARE THEY?

Flashbacks are memories of past traumas (deeply distressing experiences). They may take the form of pictures, sounds, smells, body sensations, emotions, or the lack of them (emotional numbness). Many times there are no actual visual (seeing) or auditory (hearing) memory. One may have the sense of panic, being trapped, or feeling powerless, with no memory of what’s causing it. Flashbacks can also happen when sleeping, in the form of nightmares.

Children, as well as, adolescent victims of sexual abuse, had to protect themselves from the emotional and physical horrors of their trauma. In order to survive, they often isolated themselves, unable to express their thoughts or feelings. It is as if they put their trauma into an emotional box, and buried it deep in the back of their mind. Then, like a Jack in the Box that has been wound tight, it pops open in the present. Those buried memories of past trauma, unexpectedly explode into their present life, leaving the survivor frightened, overwhelmed, and confused.

When a person is sexually abused, their emotional growth is stunted, or stops growing. Because, emotions were frozen at the age abuse began, they are sometimes called, “the little one”. As traumatic memories surface, the little one experiences the past as if it were happening today. As the flashback occurs, it is as if the survivor forgets that they are an ADULT, and able to reassure, protect and ground themself. The intense feelings and body sensations experienced are so frightening because the feelings/sensations are not related to the reality of the present, and many times seem to come from out of nowhere.

Victims sometimes think they are crazy, and are afraid of telling anyone (including their therapist) of these experiences. Survivors feel out of control, and at the mercy of old trauma.

Often victim/survivors begin to avoid situations that may trigger flashbacks. Many times they occur during any form of sexual intimacy, or it may be a person who has similar characteristics as the perpetrator, or it may be a situation today that stirs up similar trapped feelings (perceived angry, controlling, or forceful people).

If you are feeling small . . . you are experiencing a flashback. You were small when the abuse happened, and now you are feeling the same emotions you experienced then.

If you are experiencing stronger emotions than are called for in the present situation . . . you are experiencing a flashback.

Flashbacks feel crazy because the little one inside doesn’t know that there is an adult survivor available to help.

FLASHBACKS ARE NORMAL

Before the Vietnam War, what we now call flashbacks, were called Shell Shock. As Vietnam vets began coming home from the war, the horror of what they experienced and the effect of that trauma on them, was called Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD. Flashbacks are one of these terrifying effects.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, or Post-Traumatic Syndrome, is defines as, “the normal experience of all people experiencing an event that is outside the range of normal human experience.”

WHAT HELPS

1. TELL YOURSELF that YOU ARE HAVING A FLASHBACK

2. REMIND YOURSELF THAT THE WORST IS OVER: The feelings and sensations you are experiencing are memories of the past. The actual event took place long ago when you were little;, and YOU SURVIVED. Now it is time to let out that terror, rage, hurt, and/or panic. Now is the time to HONOR your experience.

3. GET GROUNDED: This means stamping your feet on the ground so that the little one knows you have feet and can get away now if you need to. (As a child, you couldn’t get away . . . now you can.)

4. BREATHE: When we get scared, we stop normal breathing. As a result, our body begins to panic from the lack of oxygen. Lack of oxygen in itself causes a great deal of panic feelings: pounding in the head, tightness, sweating, feeling faint, shakiness, dizziness. When we breathe deeply enough, a lot of the panic feeling can decrease. Breathing deeply means putting your hand on your diaphragm and breathing deeply enough so that your diaphragm pushes against your hand, then exhaling so that the diaphragm goes in.

5. REORIENT TO THE PRESENT: Begin using your five senses in the present. Look around and see the colors in the room, the shapes of things, the people near, etc. Listen to the sounds in the room: your breathing, traffic, birds, people, cars, etc. Feel your body and what is touching it: your clothes, your own arms and hands, the chair or floor supporting you.

6. SPEAK TO THE LITTLE ONE AND REASSURE HER/HIM: It is very healing to get your adult in the picture so your little one knows that he/she is not alone, that you are not in danger now, that you can get out if you need to, that it is OK to feel the feelings of long ago without reprisal. The child needs to know that it is safe to experience the feelings/sensations and let go of the past.

7. GET IN TOUCH WITH YOUR NEED FOR BOUNDARIES: Sometimes when we are having a flashback, we lose the sense of where we leave off and the world begins; as if we do not have skin. Wrap yourself in a blanket, hold a pillow or stuffed animal, go to bed, sit in a closet . . . any way that you can feel yourself truly protected from the outside.

8. GET SUPPORT: Depending on your situation, you may need to be alone or may want someone near you. In either case, it is important that your close ones know about flashbacks so they can help with the process, whether that means letting you be by yourself, or by being there.

9. TAKE THE TIME TO RECOVER: Sometimes flashbacks are very powerful. Give yourself the time to make the transition from this powerful experience. Don’t expect yourself to jump into adult activities right away. Take a nap, or a warm bath, or some quiet time. Be kind and gentle with yourself. Do not beat yourself up for having a flashback. Appreciate how much you went through as a little child.

10. HONOR YOUR EXPERIENCE: Appreciate yourself for having survived that horrible time as a child. Respect your body’s need to experience those feelings of long ago.

11. BE PATIENT: It takes time to heal the past. It takes time to learn appropriate ways of taking care of self, of being an adult who has feelings, and developing effective ways of coping in the here and now

12. FIND A COMPETENT THERAPIST or COUNSELOR: Look for a therapist or counselor who understands the process of healing from incest. They can be a guide, a support, and a coach in this healing process. You do not have to do it alone . . . ever again.

13. JOIN A SELF-HELP GROUP: Survivors are wonderful allies in this process of healing. It is a healing thing to share your process with others who understand so deeply what you are going through.

14. KNOW YOU ARE NOT CRAZY . . . YOU ARE HEALING!